Since I last wrote I have become more conscious of a certain distinction: there is, on one hand, the love for Rod, the particular man, the appreciation for him and everything we share and enjoy together. And then there is the attention and attentiveness for the consciousness between us – one could call it an ‘atmosphere’ too. It is becoming finer, more subtle, deeper and wider, the more responsive we independently are to it, the more we care for it. It’s inseparable from the way we treat each other, the love we express towards each other, but it is also something distinct from that. It seems to emit a love of its own kind – I have thought it might be the reflection of the underlying unity in existence.
The attention I give to it can direct me more clearly towards how to respond to a situation than if I merely consider the other directly.
Not long ago, this happened in a particular work-relationship, which has been fraught with a lot of tension. After an impatient and irritable exchange of e-Mails, I was preparing for a meeting with my colleague with some apprehension. As soon as we were together though, I found my attention shift almost automatically to the flavor of the space between us. Listening to it I was able to find words that I had not thought of beforehand and when she responded in kind, we were able to move forward with renewed energy and openness. Since then we have been very naturally expressing a care for each other that seems to arise out of that space rather than our personal psychological sphere.